What is Dom Space?
Like the equivalent term “sub space”, each Dominant’s experience with “Dom Space” varies. No two Dominants will ever have the exact same experience. The reason for this is, Dom Space is a very firm mental space along with some physical attributes, but because every Dominant’s mentality is different, thus their experience with “Dom space” will vary greatly to others.
The first thing to understand about Dom Space is that the Dominant does NOT loose control of their thoughts or actions like how submissives and slaves end up doing when they reach levels of sub-space. it is an intensifying feeling which washes over them. Some dominants can feel hear the heartbeat of their submissives/slaves, their breathing, their presences and even to some degree their energy. They are completely turned on and tuned to the submissive or slave for which is before them. It is a bond for which is built between the dominant and the submissive/slave where pure “instinct” takes over. They enter a space where they just simply “know” what to do, when to do it in order to get the exact response for which they are looking for in that person.
One of the strongest things for which I have learned over my years as a dominant is that to really truly dominate a submissive or slave, one must learn to dominate themselves. They must learn how to put themselves into the mindset and learn to harness it to achieve the goals they are looking for. They need to learn to dominate a person with their hands first and foremost before they pick up a crop or a whip or flogger. These instruments just become extension of those hands. This is when a dominant in my opinion reaches “Dom Space”
What does it feel physically?
When I achieve and reach this space, it is like every single nerve within my entire body lights up on fire. Its a heightened sense of physical arousal which goes way beyond that of the physical arousal for which my body is feeling. It is a mental arousal which just lights up every nerve, making them extremely sensitive to the point that I can feel the very air which blows about me. It can be quite a strong sensation affecting the dominant’s body with increased strength and higher levels of arousal. This is why a dominant needs to be in tune with it and understand it so they do not overexert themselves upon another. Its about understanding one’s physical strength and being able to harness and control it and not allow it to control you.
Picture a submissive waiting on her knees, completely naked and waiting with a whip in her mouth. Her body is posed beautifully, her eyes lowered to the ground, hands tucked behind her back to display her submission to you in waiting to receive the whipping. Think of the head rush which begins to pour through you. You can feel the adrenaline being dumped into your veins to prepare you for what is about to happen. Your breathing begins to rise up, and your muscles being to electrify. This is your body’s reaction to what is going on inside of you.
“The mental mindset”
Dom space isn’t just a physical space but also a mental space as well. It is a mental feeling of control and power for which occurs within the dominant. its an aura which completely surrounds the dominant constantly, not just in sessions and scenes, but in every day life as well. Just like it was stated above, the dominant tunes in and just takes change, knowing what to do, when to do it and how to go about doing it. They don’t question it, they don’t pull it apart and analyze it, they just act and do.
“What triggers Dom space?”
For me, when it comes to sessions and scenes, the moment is what triggers Dom space for me. Picture the image spoken above with the waiting submissive or slave with the whip in her mouth. The second my eyes fall upon her, is when immediately I begin to enter Dom space. I will take in a deep breath of air and then slowly release it to begin the physical changes inside my body and the mental changes within my mind. The atmosphere is what triggers it for me. I can close my eyes into darkness and “see” the submissive within my mind and feel them without even touching them.
“What can affect Dom Space?”
The ability for a dominant to enter this space can gravely be affected by things such as physical health and stress level. If a dominant is physically sick or overly stressed out, Dom space might be impossible to reach. This doesn’t mean you are not a dominant anymore, it simply means your human and your abilities to tune yourself in are affected by your physical and mental state of mind.
Dominants who enter this space can easily be torn from it and this can be both a painful and emotional happening. It is one of the rules why no one enters the circle of a play space when a dominant is active in a scene. Not only can this be very dangerous if a dominant simply swings a flogger out to prepare to strike with it, but it can interrupt the dominant’s focus and connection with the submissive or slave before them. I have seen someone stand up behind a dominant and reach out to touch their shoulder and the dominant ends up swinging the flogger and striking the submissive improperly with it because their focus and connection with the submissive is turned off. Its gravely disrespectful to both the dominant and the submissive or slave when doing this. If you wish to watch a couple play, then do so quietly and give them space to do so safely and sanely. Never ever disrupt a dominant unless the submissive is in some form of danger or the dominant ignores a submissive’s safe word or safe gesture. Even then such interruptions should only be done by someone who is in charge of the play space, or what is referred to as a dungeon master or monitor.
As you grow deeper into your dominance, your experiences with dom space will begin to grow as well. As you become more experienced your experience with dom space will heighten to new levels. It might seem mild at first when you start, but that is only the beginning. Dom space is nothing to be scared about. it is a wonderful place to be in and where our very true dominance comes form.