Sexual Sadism
(Taken from Wikipedia)
In psychiatry, the terms sadism and masochism describe a personality type characterized by the individual deriving pleasure and gratification from either inflicting or receiving physical pain and/or humiliation, respectively. In some cases the pleasure and gratification may be sexual but in others sexual pleasure is not experienced, and it may involve deriving the pleasure from masochistic or sadist behavior towards the opposite gender or same gender as self. Some individuals appear to be exclusively sadist and others exclusively masochistic in deriving their pleasure, but many alternately derive pleasure from sadist and masochistic thoughts and experiences involving themselves and others.
The term sadomasochism denotes the co-occurrence of sadism and masochism in one person, as discrete mental disorders. Some contend masochism to be the spiritual inner self-punishment for acts inwardly acknowledged to be sadism. In psychiatric theory, the term “sadomasochism” may be used exclusively. The medical definitions (denotations and connotations) of “sadism” and “masochism” have been modified as required by medical progress, since the Austrian psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840–1902) introduced the terms to psychiatry in the 19th century. This article presents the development of “sadism” and “masochism” as medical terms, leading to their contemporary definitions as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). As erotic practices, the sadomasochistic subculture, and related matters, are noted historically.
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There are many misconceptions about Sadism. To some, they believe sadists are just people who enjoy inflicting pain for self gratification of doing so. That they just get off on doing it, without any regard for who they are doing it to. They are simply concerned with themselves, and what they feel. This is not what lifestyle sadism is about.
As a sadist myself, I can tell you that its about the exchange for which happens. its about the exchange of energy for which I feel when I am inflicting pain on another. There is a bond for which is drawn between Masochist and Sadist, and at times a exchange of energy for which cannot be seen, heard or felt. Its a psychological pull. I enjoy inflicting pain on someone but I do it within the limits and boundaries for which I know they can tolerate. This comes from learning about the person, talking and communicating. This comes from putting into play various safe guards from verbal to physical to ensure that the person for which I am inflicting pain upon can communicate to me if things are becoming too harsh.
Being a Sadist is also understanding the very intricate balance between pleasure and pain. It is about taking someone on a erotic journey through the mixture of both to share in the experience in a safe way in a sane way and with full and absolute consensualism.
Should we know what pain feels like before we inflict it on others?
This question has been asked to me time and time again and my response is as follows. I believe it is very important to understand what pain feels like before we go about and inflict pain. I have been struck by a flogger. I have been struck by a whip. I have had a pin pushed into my flesh just to see how it feels. By going through it and accepting it into our own bodies we can be more aware of how someone else might feel. Now, we all respond differently to levels of pain and we all have different pain tolerances but actually feeling and seeing what it is about allows us to respect what we are doing and respect what it might do to someone else. This allows us to understand it from both sides, so we do not become out of control or abusive with what we are doing.
How do we find out the levels of pain tolerance for which we can accept?
I firmly believe that it is simply a stepping process. One should start out small and with lower forms of pain. This could be sensual spankings or perhaps a sensual flogging and then slowly continue to build up. Pain tolerances are trained into someone just like anything else is, it is done through practice, it is done through building up and then maintaining levels without going to the point of crossing the line at what someone is trying. Take it slow, and take it easy. Don’t try to get someone prepared to take a full force single tail whipping the first time they have had any sort of pain or have felt what pain is. Working up slowly and training it up to increase a person’s ability to accept pain is the most safest and sanest way to increase someone’s pain tolerance.
The next thing to understand is communication. Talk about experiences, talk about how they felt, talk about how you reacted to something. Be willing to communicate when you feel that something is growing too close to the ranges for which you can tolerate. That is what safe words are used for.
When does it turn wrong?
It turns wrong when the person for which is the sadist stops having any regard for the person for which they are playing with. When it stops being consensual and it stops being within the limits of tolerance for which the person who is on the receiving end can tolerate. It becomes wrong, when that person is only so much focused on themselves. It starts becoming wrong when that person continues to elevate the levels of pain for which they inflict to feed some emotional or physical craving inside ourselves without any regard for who we are playing with. People who loose this form of control will begin to get out of control and this is when it turns wrong, this is when it turns into abuse.