It is well documented that the biggest sexual organ in either a male or
female’s body is not what is between our legs, but what is above our neads, the
brain. “Dirty Talk” or “Pillow Talk” as I call it here is one of the various
tools found in the dominant’s toolbox. Not only is it a great way to arouse a
submissive, but it can be very useful for a beginning couple as they work to
negotiate and get to know each other.
Think of this senario for example: Your dominant coming close to you,
bringing his lips to touch your earlobe, whispering words of intimacy to you.
This person being so close, the sensation of the warmth of his breath, or the
deep erotic feeling which runs down your spine and out through your entire body
of a shared hushed erotic secret?
Erotic Talking during “foreplay” or even throughout the entire scene arouses
the mind which triggers just about everything within our body. Remember, that
our mind is our major processing center of our entire body. What we smell,
taste, feel, see and even hear is all processed by our minds. THat is why we can
cry at a sad story, or feel fear from a scary movie, or laugh at a joke. Our
body physically responds to what our senses pick up. This is an important
concept for Dominants to be understanding of.
Some people can be very closed off to dirty talk. They feel shy or nervous,
becomming very uncomfortable with the idea of dirty talk. Never fear, even for
those who are very shy, adhering to few tips of the trade, you can become quite
an expert to this trade.
- First and foremost relax yourself by taking a deep calming breath and
let it out slowly. I tend to use this as a trigger for myself to place me
into the space. When you begin to speak, use a very soft and low confidant
voice. Enunciate your words as you speak. Remember that assertiveness and
confidance are the keys to any submissive’s mind. By doing this, you are
using your very voice to bring her closer to you both pysically and
mentally. Your building a want inside her. - Your playing with senses here and multiple senses at once can pull a
submissive towards you deeper. As your using sound, use the sense of touch
also. Use your lips to touch gently against your ear, allow your breath to
flow from your lips to brush over her ear. This can sometimes even be a
trigger for some submissives. Use your hands while your doing this. Two
great places to start are the girl’s breasts and her neck. Don’t necessarily
go straight for between her legs, take time, your building the scene up
right now, so don’t be so quick for physical pleasure. - Start out very simple using the strong power of suggestion. Speak about
how you will slowly undress her, how you will remove each bit of garment
from her body. Use this to build ideas for the scene to see how she will
react. As you get better at this, you will be able to add aspects to the
scene, suggesting what you *MIGHT* do to her. You don’t always have to be
specific or even do what you suggest, this is all about suggestion here.
Your plucking the strings of her body. This is also a good way to gauge her
reaction. Does she moan when you speak about flogging her, does she whimper
when you talk about sliding a knife over her skin? Does she freeze up? This
is a great way to introduce new ideas and see how she might react to them,
and then you can judge whether or not you wish to bring things aspects into
the scene itself. - Use different types of suggestive phrases like “I want to feel the
wetness on the tips of my fingers or even good girls get spankings on
occassion, have you been a good girl or a bad girl? You can use a lot of
play acting here to build upon the scene itself, putting her in the
mindspace you want her. Remember that once you have captured the mind, the
body follows along with it. - Use your primal inner animal inside yourself. Mix growling or moaning,
or purring depending on your gender type. This can also add to the over all
feeling of what is going on.
These are five key steps, but this is all about using your own creativity and
your own imagination. As spoken before, not only is this a tool and a good place
to start the scene, but also a great place to check out new ideas, and watch how
your partner is going to respond to them. I sometimes will use concepts from the
book whether I am in Gor, I may pull things like the slave paces from the book.
The Story of O, I use the beginning words spoken to O when she’s being
introduced into the chateau about how her body is not hers anymore, and each
part of her is to serve the Masters of the Chateau. This is is all play acting,
and a bit of storytelling concepts, but once you have mastered this, this is a
really great place to begin “foreplay” which will be spoken more in later
pieces.
So get out there and strut your stuff. Remember, practice makes perfect. As
you do it more and more, you will grow more and more confident with yourself as
a Dominant and confidant with your parter till it will become almost automatic,
and you will be able to pluck the very chords of her mind with your voice and
your touch. Good Luck!